Finding breathing space: How respite supports Ann and Jo

Since Mr Jozo (Jo) Barisic was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2024, small, gradual changes have led to significant differences in the way he and his partner, Ann, live their lives.

‘The disease may be the same for many people, but the experience is different for everyone,’ Ann says. ‘Jo doesn’t realise he has a problem, so sometimes he doesn’t understand why we are doing certain things, or why he can’t do something on his own. He has changed in so many ways, but he is still my Jo.’

With a practical and compassionate outlook, Ann takes each day as it comes. To support her wellbeing, and that of Jo, she has leaned into aged care services from Resthaven, and each week Jo attends Resthaven Community Respite Services, staying overnight at a respite cottage near their home in Aldinga.

‘It’s a win-win situation,’ Ann says.

For Jo, respite offers social connection, stimulation and meaningful activities. He enjoys meeting new people, playing cards, helping to cook the barbeque meals and trying different things. A keen gardener, he’s also looking forward to a new gardening group that Resthaven is starting at the house soon.

For Ann, respite provides something just as important: time.

‘When Jo is in respite, I have the option to do whatever I want,’ Ann says. ‘I do the things that I can’t do when Jo is around because I am busy as his carer.’

Find out more about Aldinga House

Discovering the value of respite

Over the past few years, Ann and Jo have gradually increased their support from Resthaven. They initially arranged for a support worker to visit their home for just a few hours a week.

‘Sometimes the support person would take Jo out for a coffee, or sometimes they went ten-pin bowling,’ Ann says. ‘It was good, but we needed more.’

Their experience led them to explore day respite activities at Resthaven’s Aldinga House, gradually working up to the overnight stays they now do each week.

Ann and Jo have also previously taken part in Resthaven’s Staying at Home in Regional South Australia program, attending a retreat in Victor Harbor in 2025. The program helps carers and people living with dementia stay at home for longer by offering practical support and connection. Fully government funded three-day retreats in regional South Australia give participants the chance to meet others in similar situations, enjoy meaningful activities and build confidence. While people living with dementia are supported by Resthaven staff, carers gain practical knowledge, guidance and fresh insight through tailored education sessions and shared experiences.

For Ann, the experience was both comforting and eye-opening.

‘I learnt a lot from the retreat,’ Ann says. ‘There are some things I don’t want to know. I’d rather just manage things as we come to them.’

Holding on to what matters

Ann and Jo have been together for 24 years. Their story began when Ann was building a house in Morphett Vale, and Jo was working on the house opposite.

‘Jo was a builder,’ Ann says. ‘We started talking one day, and he said to me, “I know you!”,’ Ann laughs. ‘I told him it was a good pick-up line, but he said he remembered me from my old job at a building company where I worked when I was 21! He told me he was going to ask me out back then, but found out I was recently married — so he left it at that.’

‘But we found each other again – it was meant to be,’ Ann says.

Despite the challenges dementia brings, the couple enjoys everyday life together. They go for walks around their neighbourhood, exercise at home, and head out for lunch and coffee. Jo, once an enthusiastic cook who would help Ann prepare meals, now prefers to sit and watch — a small change that carries emotional weight.

‘There are little things that make a big difference,’ Ann says. ‘After we’ve been out, Jo won’t always remember where we’ve been or what we’ve done. But I don’t get upset — I just need to let it go.’

‘Support at home from Resthaven also helps ease the load.’

Support that makes a difference

Ann is quick to praise the Resthaven respite staff who have become part of their lives.

‘The staff here are all fantastic,’ Ann says. ‘Jo calls this place “Heaven”. He has no complaints. The activities vary, and they are always entertaining.’

The couple is also considering a move into a retirement village, where onsite activities may give them more options to enjoy together.

For other carers, she has this piece of advice: ‘You need a break too — so make sure you are looking after your own wellbeing as well as the person you are caring for. Even if it’s only for a short time, carers need to find something that is beneficial for them, personally.’

For Ann and Jo, respite allows them to keep moving forward, together.

To find out more about Resthaven services that could help support you, or your loved ones, visit the Resthaven website.